No Ordinary Viking
by Red the Ordinary
Summary: It's a mess - an arranged marriage goes wrong, and those not even involved are left to work things out. The one child who was never supposed to be born ends up changing hard, Viking hearts forever. Working title - open to suggestions. :D


_**chapter one**_

"C'mon, bud!" Hiccup called as he stepped off the boat, waving to his dragon who was still contentedly perched on the deck. "We're home! Get off of there!"

Toothless didn't budge. Rather, he watched quietly as the big men picked up loads of hunting equipment and a few dead animals and carried them out onto the dock. Hiccup's father, Stoick the Vast, was among those unloading from the three week-long hunting trip, and he gave Toothless a nudge in the rear with the bag of supplies in his hand.

"Get off the boat, you pathetic puss!" he bellowed, giving a hearty chuckle at Toothless' indignation. That dragon was just about as stubborn as a rebellious three year-old human. Toothless gave a yelp of surprise, which was followed by a whiny moan. Stoick shook his head at the sorry sight of a Night Fury - who for centuries had been one of the most feared dragons among numerous Viking tribes - lifting its glassy green eyes up to him, its pupils enlarged and searching for any trace of compassion in Stoick's own eyes, pitifully whining and tilting its head much like a domesticated dog far too attached to its master. He couldn't help but burst into loud, roaring laughter all over again at the thought.

"All right, Toothless, that's enough," Hiccup yelled to him from the dock. "Let's go! C'mon! I've got some nice cod over here for ya!"

Toothless' ears pricked forward at the mention of fish, and upon seeing Hiccup wave the scrumptious catch in the air, he leapt off of the boat and snatched the fish right out of Hiccup's hand. Hiccup laughed and rubbed Toothless' nose as he munched on his snack. He was so proud of him for all the help he had provided on the trip, and it couldn't have gone better without Toothless' help. Night Furies were excellent hunters with a rich, keen sense of smell and acute night vision, and Toothless had led the group of hunters to sweet spots where game hid far from human sight. As a result, they brought back more than enough meat to keep the village fed all through the winter, and Stoick couldn't recall a more successful hunting trip in all the years he had been chief of the tribe.

"Hey, maybe we can go flying later," Hiccup suggested after Toothless had swallowed the last of the fish. Toothless always looked forward to a good fly on a clear, crisp day like this, and he let out a snort of excitement at the idea. "You did such a great job on the trip - you deserve a nice fly."

"You didn't do so bad yourself, Hiccup," Stoick added, coming alongside his son to wrap an arm around his shoulder. "I've never seen you move so fast with a spear, or exert so much power with the bow and arrow! You may have never been good at fighting dragons, but ya sure were meant for hunting!"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. He really didn't think he had done all that well. "Yeah, sure, Dad."

Stoick slung a bag filled with things he and Hiccup had brought for the trip over his shoulder and gave his son a pat on the back. "I'll be back at the house unpacking. You can stick around here for a while and say hello to your friends, but I'll need you to get that stew going for supper here soon, so don't forget this time."

"I won't, Dad," he called as Stoick took off. Toothless was prodding him in the stomach with his warm nose, excitedly snorting and stamping his feet as he did so. He danced around the teen and playfully nudged him from behind, nearly causing him to fall over. Hiccup shook his head and sighed. Once you even mentioned flying, Toothless couldn't get it off his mind. He placed his hands on the dragon's face and looked him in the eye. "I know you wanna go out right now, but I really want to say 'hi' to all my friends first. Maybe we can go out after, okay? You can come with me."

Toothless reluctantly gave in and stuck close to Hiccup's side as he ventured into town to seek out the other kids, but none of them seemed to be around. Most of the village had gathered down by the docks where some of the men were still unloading, helping them bring in the game and some baskets of fish they had caught, as well as all of the hunting equipment and weapons. He ended up finding his good friend Fishlegs sitting on the steps of his house with a book of Norse folk tales in his hand, and when he saw Hiccup standing in front of him, he smiled.

"Hey, you're back!" he cried, closing up the book. "Did you kill anything good?" Hiccup took a seat beside Fishlegs to get himself off of his bad leg, which was starting to bother him after standing on it nearly all day long.

"Yeah, we did, enough to feed the entire village this winter," Hiccup reported. "We couldn't have done it without Toothless' help, though." He turned to smile at Toothless, who patiently sat next to him, still anxious for that fly he had been promised. Fishlegs seemed pleased to know that they wouldn't suffer for lack of meat that winter and congratulated Hiccup on the trip, and after he had stopped talking, Hiccup pointed to the book in Fishlegs' hands. "What are you reading?"

Fishlegs waved the book in the air. "Oh, it's a book full of different stories about the gods and where the world came from, and all the wars that happened and stuff like that. This is probably the fourth time I've read it, it's so good!" Hiccup nodded as if he were interested, when really he wasn't - he had heard the stories so many times, he knew most of them by heart. But seeing Fishlegs' face light up with passion and excitement was enough to keep him listening, and he couldn't help but smile at the kid's enthusiasm. "Did you know that dwarves were born from maggots that lived in a giant's rotting corpse? Or that they tried to tie down Fenris with a chain made from the beard of a young _woman?_ That's like, so disgusting! The stories go on forever, and they're crazy!"

Hiccup nodded. "I believe it. The gods are... pretty strange."

"There's enough promiscuity and incest in these stories to make your head spin," Fishlegs continued, rubbing his temple with his chubby fingers. He looked up at Hiccup and furrowed his brow. "Now I know why my mom used to skip over those chapters when she read these books to me as a kid."

Hiccup laughed at the comment, but the conversation quickly lapsed into an awkward silence, only accented by Toothless' heavy breathing. In the silence, Hiccup cleared his throat and shuffled in his seat as Fishlegs turned his book over in his hands.

"Umm, have you seen any of the others around?" he finally asked. "I wanted to say 'hi' and let 'em know I'm back, but I haven't seen any of them anywhere." Fishlegs put a finger to his chin and thought hard.

"Well, I just saw Snotlout and Tuffnut go by probably about an hour ago," he replied, his words coming out slowly as he tried to remember. "I'm not sure which way they went, though. They're probably down in the Meeting Hall with a bunch of the other guys. And last I saw, Ruffnut was helping Sureshot and Bera get water from the river; I think their moms went, too." Fishlegs sniffed and rolled his eyes. "Girls. They always do their chores _together_, as if that makes them any easier or something."

"Astrid didn't go with them?" Hiccup wondered. Fishlegs shook his head.

"I don't think so," he surely replied. "I haven't really seen her all day, actually. Not really sure what she's been up to. Maybe she's down in the Ring practicing with her weapons." Hiccup shook his head and stood to his feet.

"Nah, if she's practicing, she's usually out in the woods abusing some poor tree," he sighed. He dusted off his pants and waved to Fishlegs before setting off on foot towards the woods. "Thanks for your help, it was good to see you again." He paused and pointed at Fishlegs' book. "And uhh, enjoy your book for the fourth time."

Whenever he couldn't find Astrid somewhere in the village, it usually meant she was out in the woods throwing her axe into a tree, or tossing stones into small streams as hard as she possibly could, often cursing and grunting as she threw her entire body into whatever she was doing. To put it simply, she was normally only out this far if she were angry. Hiccup knew her way too well.

Sure enough, he found her about half a mile into the woods, screaming at the top of her lungs as she wildly swung her axe into a tree trunk, which had been the victim of almost nine tough blows already. He stood still about ten feet away with Toothless at his side, watching as she kept her back to him and shouted curses madly, reeling back from the force exerted by her last throw of the axe. For several moments she stood in one place, panting and wiping sweat from her brow with her arm, still swearing and spitting out hateful remarks.

"Toothless, stay," he whispered to his dragon, and stepped forward slowly. He was afraid to startle her, and he shuffled his feet in the grass to make his presence obvious. Astrid heard the noise and whipped her head around, leveling her narrowed eyes at Hiccup and impulsively clenching her fists at her side. She opened her mouth to yell, for a split second believing it must have been someone else, but when she realized that it was only Hiccup she relaxed and slowly exhaled, trying to calm herself.

"Hiccup," she muttered, now appearing surprised to see him standing there. She cleared her throat. "You... you're back."

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, we got off the boat about ten minutes ago," he said with a shrug. "Just wanted to say 'hi' and 'I'm back' and you know, all those kinds of things you say to someone when you... haven't seen them in a while and... when you miss 'em and all."

That last part of the sentence had come out _horribly_; he could tell by the way her eyebrow was raised at him. He felt his face beginning to burn, and his eyes shot to the ground to avoid her gaze. She never replied or even made a sound. Instead, she slightly turned from him, heaved another long sigh, and stared off into the distance. Hiccup brought his eyes up to look at her again, wondering what the matter was. Normally, she was the one trying to initiate conversation with him, and to see her fall so silent planted a small, uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Astrid, are you okay?" he cautiously wondered. "I know you usually come out here only if you're really mad."

"Do I _look_ okay to you, Hiccup?" Astrid suddenly cried, throwing her angry glare back at Hiccup. "Two brainless, immature, half-witted boys both decide they want to marry me, _completely_ without asking _my _opinion first, and go and plan to fight each other for me sometime before the end of the month. You think I'm okay with that?"

Hiccup felt like someone had punched him in the gut. "Wait, who are you talking about?"

"Snotlout and Tuffnut," Astrid spat, her words dripping with venomous hate. "Ugh, the _brutes!_ People in the village are already making bets on them, and I'm standing here in the middle of it all with no voice and absolutely no power, either! I always knew those boys were stupid, but I never thought it'd come down to _this!_ This is just... _ugh!_ Oh, if only Thor would just strike me down with lightning right now, I'd be eternally grateful!"

By now she had stomped over to the tree, yanked out her axe, and was now running towards it again screaming as loudly as she possibly could. Her arm swung forward and the axe glided out of her hand and back into the very same tree, causing bark to splinter.

"Wait... what?" Hiccup cried, running forward to grab her arm. She was still heavily panting, her eyes set intently on the tree she was destroying. "Y-you... you can't be serious...! I mean, your father's all right with it and everything? Did you even tell anyone you didn't agree with what was going on? I'm sure if I mentioned it to my dad, I could get him to-" Astrid held up her hand and closed her eyes.

"Hiccup, I..." her voice faltered, and she shook her head. She rubbed her temple with her fingers for a moment, then sighed and started turning her axe over in her hand. Shaking her head again, she looked up apologetically at Hiccup. "I don't... I really don't... want to talk about it right now. I'm having a hard enough time letting it all sink in as it is."

Hiccup felt bad for making her upset, but was still intensely curious about the whole ordeal. His heart was still pounding as his mind went over and over all that she had said.

"I'm... sorry for making you upset, Astrid," he muttered. He rubbed his shoulder. "If there's anything I can do to help you out, please let me know, okay? I really... hate to see you like this."

Unless it was his eyes playing tricks on him, Hiccup thought that Astrid's eyes looked a bit glossy. She avoided total eye contact and forced a small, insincere smile.

"Thanks," she sighed.

Hiccup drew in a deep breath. "You're _sure_ Snotlout and Tuffnut are serious about this?"

Astrid bit her lip before speaking again. "Dead serious, unfortunately." Hiccup could feel the blood draining from his head and his stomach tying itself in knots.

_Gods, this can't happen,_ his mind raced. _I loved her first, and I care about her way more than either one of those guys. They only want her just to spite the other, and Freyja knows for what else._

"I'll... I'll see you later, Hiccup," Astrid finally said after a long, awkward silence, and without hesitation she took off towards the village, leaving Hiccup alone in the woods with Toothless. The dragon stepped over to where Hiccup was standing and nuzzled his warm nose into the boy's side. Hiccup let out a long sigh and placed a hand on Toothless' head.

"What in Valhalla am I going to do about all this, buddy?" he moaned to the dragon. "There's got to be _something_ I can do! I can't just let them go on with this - I mean, I _love_ her! And if I truly loved her, I'm not going to sit back and watch her fate fall into the hands of either one of those... those... scum bags! Scum bags, yeah, that's what they are!" He felt a strange pride and revengeful anger bubble up inside him upon speaking an insult like that. He usually never had the heart to insult anyone to their face, but he had never realized how good it felt to do so. "Selfish, meat-headed, two-faced, hell-bound scum bags!"

Toothless tossed his head and snorted in agreement, and warm smoke wafted from his nostrils. Hiccup pounded a fist into his hand.

"I ought to show them I mean business, and fix this whole thing," he continued, determination rising in his voice. He wasn't quite sure where it all welled up from, but it was beginning to course through him and give him a new sense of drive and purpose. "I _have_ to. I'll... I'll stand up to them, and tell them exactly how I feel." He shook his head in determination, starting off towards the village. " I can't let anything happen to Astrid."

* * *

All that was much easier said than done.

Hiccup had resolved in his mind to face Snotlout and Tuffnut about the issue, but the minute he laid eyes on them laughing and drinking in the Meeting Hall, his entire body turned to jelly and his heart began to race. Toothless tried to prod him on, but Hiccup wouldn't budge. He couldn't understand why now, of all the times in his life he had seen the two, they looked especially big, tough, and frightening.

_I'm eighteen years old myself!_ he tried reminding himself, still standing in the tall, looming doorway of the Meeting Hall. _Why should I be afraid of them? What could they _possibly_ do to me?_

He watched as Tuffnut, still in the middle of talking, effortlessly snapped a chicken leg bone in half with two fingers, and he and Snotlout laughed. Doubt immediately clouded Hiccup's thoughts.

_They could do a lot to me, apparently._

"Toothless... no. I can't do this," he whispered to the impatient dragon, who seemed quite upset with his master's sudden change of thought. "They'll probably bash me to a pulp if I even bring it up, and you know how my dad is about me getting into fights. He treats me like a kid just 'cuz I'm missing a leg." He was quiet for a moment, but then started when he realized something he had forgotten earlier. "My dad! I was supposed to go put his supper on an hour ago! Aww, man... he won't be too happy when I get home tonight." He began to make his way out the door as fast as he could, with Toothless following closely behind. "And he'll be even angrier when I bring the whole arranged marriage deal up with him. Thor only knows how _that's_ all gonna blow over."

He burst into the house to find Stoick half-asleep in his large chair in front of the fire, and the sudden slamming open of the door startled Stoick so much that he nearly came out of his seat. Hiccup hurriedly worked to throw some stew into their large, black cauldron, and limped with it towards the fire when he was done making it. Stoick hardly seemed concerned about the food, which was quite unusual given the fact that if he didn't eat on time, he'd be in a bad mood. Instead, he was curious about Hiccup's behavior.

"What's wrong, son?" he wondered, adjusting himself in his chair. Hiccup never looked up. "You seem... unusually agitated."

"Ehh... it's nothing, Dad," Hiccup mumbled half-heartedly, his back still facing his father. Stoick shook his head and surpressed a small laugh. He knew way too well from his own late wife that "it's nothing" usually meant that something was going on. And Hiccup was so much like his mother that Stoick typically had no problem figuring out how he was feeling.

"What's going on, Hiccup?" he asked again, and knew he had hit the nail on the head when Hiccup let out a painful sigh. The boy placed the pot over the fire and his shoulders slumped.

"Well, besides the fact that I'm late to put your supper on, there's just..." Hiccup's voice trailed off and he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "There's... a lot of... stuff. Going on." He paused, then looked up at his father. "And, if it's okay with you... I... really need to talk with you about it." Stoick opened his mouth to respond, but Hiccup held up his hands before he could say a word. "But you've got to _promise_ me you'll hear me out."

Stoick seemed surprised to hear those words. "Of course I'll listen, son. What's on your mind?"

Hiccup tried his hardest to keep himself from rolling his eyes and retorting to his father's last comment. Normally, Stoick _never_ listened.

"It's... it's about Astrid," he stammered. The words seemed to come with laborous effort, and he wasn't sure why. Stoick's eyebrows lifted a bit, and Hiccup could feel his face flushing. "I... I'm not sure if you've heard yet, but Snotlout and Tuffnut are both fighting to marry her."

"Yeah, I heard," Stoick mumbled, getting up and helping himself to a bowl of stew as he "listened." "Word gets around this island fast, if you didn't know that before." Hiccup wrung his hands as he continued.

"Well... did you ever ask _her_ if she was okay with the whole thing?" he finally managed after quite a bit of hesitation. "I mean, she's just being forced to marry whomever wins the fight, whether she even likes them or not. I just... don't see that as particularly fair, if... you understand what I mean."

It was apparent that Stoick didn't. He slurped at his stew without looking up. "Why should the woman have any say in the matter, Hiccup? Obviously you aren't familiar with the laws."

Hiccup furrowed his brow. "What... laws?"

"One of the laws of the tribe is that when a man desires to marry a woman, he has full right to take her home as his wife as long as the woman's father gives his consent," Stoick explained in a subtly condescending fashion, as if he found it stupid that Hiccup had no idea of what he was talking about. "In this case, two men are contending for her hand in marriage, so her father's already given his consent to whomever wins the fight." He finally looked up with a slight laugh. "Why does this concern you, Hiccup? It doesn't matter who wins - she'll be in good hands."

Hiccup felt that surge of anger and hate rise up inside of him again, though this time it was mixed with another emotion he wasn't really familiar with.

Normally, he kept his opinion to himself, but at this moment in particular, he felt his dad needed to know what he was thinking.

"Dad, Snotlout and Tuffnut are two thick-headed idiots who don't know the first thing about caring for a _dragon_, let alone a _wife!_" he suddenly exploded. "Have you _ever_ seen them do a nice thing for her? No! All they do is flirt with her and fight over her! It's been that way since we all were young teens! I don't see how you could just... hand her off to either one of those jerks!"

"Now, Hiccup, you've gone too far," Stoick forcefully interjected. "You have no place to be talking about those boys that way."

"Well, did _you _grow up with them, Dad?" Hiccup cried, throwing a hand in the air. "It's not like you have any idea what they're like!"

"Tuffnut and Snotlout are two perfectly suitable young men for Astrid," Stoick repeated, and even he sounded a bit angrier this time. "And I _did_ watch both boys grow up into strong, brave Vikings, in case you weren't aware of my age." Hiccup felt as if he were about to explode. Once again, Stoick wasn't listening.

"This isn't fair!" he screamed, now beginning to rapidly pace across the room. "Do you have any idea how much I care about her? Did you forget that we were actually together for a while? You remember, after the Red Death was killed? I did everything for her, Dad. And you're just going to take her away from me like this?" Now he was fighting tears, and he turned away before his father could see them gathering in his eyes.

"So this is all out of your own selfishness, is it?" Stoick gravely wondered. Hiccup closed his eyes tightly and bit his lip at the words, slowly shaking his head. "Hiccup, you've got to learn that you can't always get what you want in life. There's some things you'll have to get over and move on from, and this might have to be one of those things." He paused, as if waiting for Hiccup to reply. When the boy didn't, he shifted in his seat and quietly continued. "It was difficult for me to move on after Eira's death, but it had to be done. Odin knows that if I had the power, I would have brought your dear mother back to this life in a heartbeat... but this is the way of life. Things will happen that we can't control, and all we can do is learn to deal with-"

"But this _can_ be controlled, Dad!" Hiccup suddenly yelled, whirling around to face his father. "Mom's death couldn't be helped, but Astrid's future _can!_ Just _try _to understand for a minute: she's being thrust into a marriage she doesn't even approve of, and-"

"And that's the way things are done in this tribe, son," Stoick angrily finished. "Men decide marriages, not women. I think _you_ are the one who needs to understand."

"Yeah, but you can't possibly begin to understand how _I _feel about the whole thing!" Hiccup cried.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Stoick pointed out, wagging a finger at Hiccup. "You're jealous that those boys are actually making a move, when you waited forever to even _think_ about taking that step. Maybe it's good for you to pay for the consequences of your actions - or in this case, your _failure_ to act!"

Hiccup's face turned a bright shade of red at the words, and he could feel his skin burning. "No, Dad, it's not like that, it's-"

"All right, that's enough," Stoick roared, throwing his spoon down on the table. He shot up from his seat and stood menacingly over his son. "I see how it is. This whole argument was meant for your gain, and I'm not going to hear any more of it. You'll just have to learn to accept that this is the way things are going to be, and you have no say in the matter." Hot tears of exasperation and defeat began welling in Hiccup's eyes, and Stoick grumbled at the sight. "Start acting your age, Hiccup, and learn to get over it."

Stoick shoved his son aside and stomped towards the door. All the while, Hiccup stood still in the middle of the room fighting tears. He heard his father swing the door open, and he turned his head slightly at the sound.

"If you let them go through with this, and something happens to Astrid," he choked, directing his words at his father, "I swear to the gods I'll never forgive you."

Stoick entirely ignored what Hiccup had spoken, and silently left the house, slamming the door closed behind himself.

* * *

Astrid's thoughts wandered aimlessly as she sat on Ruffnut's bed, braiding her friend's long, platinum blonde locks into thick plaits. Ruffnut seemed to notice that Astrid wasn't herself that particular day. It was roughly a week before Snotlout and Tuffnut planned to fight each other, and Astrid was really having a hard time processing it all.

"You know, it's really weird hanging out with you and not hearing you take up half the conversation," Ruffnut noted, absentmindedly scratching her nose. Astrid never replied and silently continued to brush and braid Ruffnut's hair. "You're still worried about the whole marriage thing, aren't you?"

Astrid paused. "I'm not... worried," she slowly began. "I'm just... confused, I guess."

Ruffnut wrinkled her nose. "How come?" Astrid shrugged.

"I'm not really sure," she sighed, taking her work back up. "Maybe cuz I don't see either one of them in that way. I mean, I've grown up with both of them, but I can't even _begin_ to imagine being _married_ to one of them! It's just a whole different situation, and honestly, I don't think I'm ready for it all."

Ruffnut was quiet for a while. "I really hope my brother doesn't win the fight. He'd be an awful man to be married to, I promise you that."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that because he's your brother, and you always see the worst side of him."

"But if he's a jerk at home, he's going to be a jerk after marrying you," Ruffnut retorted. "Things won't change much even after you guys marry."

"Stop talking like he's _going_ to be the one to marry me," Astrid forcefully said, brushing Ruffnut's hair a little harder.

"Oww, Astrid! Take it easy!" Ruffnut cried at the sudden jerking. "I didn't mean it that way, all right? I'm just saying that it's a pretty huge possibility, and I might as well get you familiar with what you'll be getting yourself into." She shook her head and scoffed. "It's not like Mom ever really punished him for doing things wrong, so he thinks he can get away with absolutely everything. Ugh, he's so immature. Sometimes I wonder if underneath his 18 year-old body, he's still a 15 year-old."

"Most boys are like that, unfortunately," Astrid grumbled.

"With the exception of Hiccup," Ruffnut rapidly finished. "That kid was always more mature than all of us combined, even when we were real little kids."

It got quiet after Ruffnut spoke those words, and some sort of uncomfortable feeling hung in the air in the midst of the silence. Ruffnut shifted her weight and cleared her throat, as if prompting Astrid to say something, but Astrid was silent, as if something about that last sentence had slightly bothered her.

"You really wanted to marry him, didn't you?" Ruffnut finally asked, her voice low and hushed. She could hear Astrid heave another sad sigh.

"I would have in the blink of an eye, if he had only asked me," she replied. "But, he took his time, and now look where I am." She pondered a thought before she spoke again. "Once I'm married, I guess you can have Hiccup all to yourself if you want. It's not like you haven't made it obvious that you really like him."

Ruffnut blushed so hard, she was afraid the roots of her bleach blonde hair were turning red as well. "W-well, Astrid... that'd be mean. I mean, you guys were... practically a couple for the past-"

"I know," Astrid spat in exasperation. "But does it matter now? No! Because no one's listening to me! If they listened, this whole arranged marriage thing would have been called off a long time ago!"

Ruffnut hung her head. "I wish there were something I could do to make this all go away - or at least do _something_ to help you out."

Astrid firmly shook her head. "It wouldn't matter," she briskly retorted. "They won't listen to women, anyway. We might as well keep our mouths shut."

"Yeah, well if I had it my way, the fighting and marriage deal would be stopped completely, the leaders of the village would get the lecture of their lifetime, and I'd probably kick Tuff's ass into the next century," Ruffnut growled, tucking her knees up to her chest as she spoke.

"If only it were that easy," Astrid said, shaking her head.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you think," Ruffnut suggested. "For all you know, Snotlout could win the fight. He's not so bad."

Astrid shrugged. "If you don't count the fact that he's full of himself, then yeah, I'd say he isn't bad at all."

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "He _could_ change, you know."

"The chances of that happening are about as slim as your waist, Ruffnut Thorston," Astrid said with a laugh, and Ruffnut made a face at the comment. A smirk graced Astrid's face and she raised an eyebrow. "You don't have much of a waist, if you weren't aware of that already. I figured it was a good way to describe the odds."

"It doesn't really matter which of the two you end up marrying, anyway... it'll probably end in divorce in about two years. If _that _long," Ruffnut decided. She turned her head slightly toward Astrid. "My advice to you is just to keep your head up. It'll probably be hard for a while, but you're tough. I think you'll do fine if you don't snap under the pressure."

Both girls fell quiet, and they could hear Ruffnut's mother, Skade, humming to herself as she fixed dinner. Not long later, they could hear the door swing open on its creaky hinges, followed by the noisy racket of Tuffnut stomping into the house and slamming the door closed behind himself. Ruffnut let out a groan at the noise.

"Great, guess who's home?" she growled. She placed her elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand. "He'll probably poke his head in and ask what we're doing, too... that is, if he finds out that _you're_ here."

"Mom, what's for supper? I'm starving," they could hear Tuffnut loudly ask. Both Astrid and Ruffnut rolled their eyes at the obnoxious question and surpressed laughter. Boys.

"Lamb stew and buttered bread, dear," Skade replied in her typical soft-spoken fashion, as if to deliberately offset Tuffnut's aggressive inquiry. Tuffnut sighed loudly in response.

"Mom, that's what they're having for dinner at Snotlout's, and I had some before I left," he complained. "Not to mention they're having the same thing at the Hofferson's, and the Haddock's, _and_ the Errikson's, _and_ the Ingerman's! Come on! You couldn't have made chicken?"

"It must be lamb stew night in the village, then," Skade calmly replied. "Sit down and eat your dinner, and stop complaining, or I'll give it all to your sister and Astrid."

The girls winced, and Ruffnut bit her lip.

_Yeah, Mom... you _had_ to mention that Astrid's here._

They could hear bowls and spoons clattering onto the table and a chair being pulled out from the table. Tuffnut seemed quiet for a few seconds, then began to eat. Thank Odin - maybe he was too worried about food and hadn't heard his mother mention Astrid.

"Astrid's here?" he wondered, his mouth full of food.

The girls heaved a sigh. Never mind.

"Yes, dear," Skade answered. "She's been here for nearly an hour helping your sister with her hair." They heard the chair sliding back out. "Tuff, where are you going? Eat your dinner!"

Moments later, Tuffnut poked his head into the room he shared with his sister, where Ruffnut and Astrid were presently situated, with a naughty smirk on his face.

"So you saved _me_ that job tonight, huh Astrid?" he said with a sneer. Astrid didn't look up and only braided faster.

"Of course I did," she replied, "while you sat around on your lazy ass, drinking mead with Snotlout without a care in the world." Tuffnut's face fell and contorted into a frown.

"You know, you _could_ at least _try_ to be a little nicer to me," he huffed, folding his arms as he leaned against the doorway. That smirk sprang back onto his face. "Especially since you could be _marrying_ me in a couple months." Astrid set her jaw at the words and bit back the words that wanted to fly out of her mouth.

"Tuff, go away," Ruffnut snapped, whipping her head around to face him. "Do what Mom said and go finish eating. Leave us alone - we're talking about... girly things."

"Okay, that excuse worked when you were eight, when 'girly things' meant dolls and hair and clothes," Tuffnut retorted. "I know you guys are talking about me."

"What'd I tell you?" Ruffnut yelled this time. "Go away, idiot! It doesn't matter what we were talking about. It's irrelevant to you, anyway." Tuffnut ignored his sister and invited himself right into the room. He stood next to the bed and leaned against the headboard, trying to get Astrid's attention.

"Look, Astrid," he began, but she refused to look his way and sighed in annoyance. "I know you're a bit nervous and don't really know what you're getting into, but we can work that out." He paused, waiting for Astrid to reply, but she never did. Ruffnut bit her lip and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "Tell you what. Snotlout and I talked, and we figured maybe it's a good idea for you to... get a feel for both of us first, so you'll have an idea of what this whole getting married thing is going to be like."

Astrid had stopped brushing and braiding by then, and clenched the piece of hair that was in her hand as she listened. Every single muscle in her body tensed up, and she could feel the anger bubbling up inside of her. Ruffnut sensed the tension and was quickly trying to come up with a way to break it.

"Oh, so you mean she'd basically date you guys until one of you wins the stupid fight, then when one of you wins, she already knows a bit about you both?" she asked with mock interest. "Wow, that's _such_ a good idea!" She wiped the fake smile off of her face. "So uhh, what if she ends up getting attached to the one she _doesn't _end up marrying? And what if it's the other way around, and one of _you_ gets attached to her, but you don't end up marrying her? What if she still hates you both afterward?"

"What if," Astrid slowly interjected, "I don't get attached _at all?_"

"It doesn't hurt to at least _try_," Tuffnut angrily replied. He turned back to Astrid, who was now breathing heavily and trying to hold herself back. "The only way to find out is to go for a _test drive_..."

Ruffnut shot to her feet, and the plait Astrid had been working so hard to finish came completely undone. "Tuffnut Thorston, I told you to shut up and leave us alone! Is that SO hard to do?"

Tuffnut continued to ignore Ruffnut and leaned closer toward Astrid; so close that she could smell lingering alcohol on his breath. "Come on, Astrid. We can go out for a couple hours tonight... have something to drink, go for a sail on the boat I built... I'll show you how this thing goes."

"I don't even want to go on a _date _with you, let alone... everything else!" Astrid suddenly cried, leaning away from Tuffnut. She pointed her finger at him and narrowed her eyes. "I know _exactly _what you want, and it's not just to spend time with me. You're taking this too far too fast, and I refuse to go along with you."

"Tuff, your dinner is getting cold!" Skade called from the kitchen. Tuffnut rolled his eyes.

"Mom, I'll be there in a minute!" he yelled back. Ruffnut stepped forward and shoved him towards the door, which caused him to lose his balance and almost fall over. "Ruff, stop it!"

"I told you to get out of here, dragon breath," she shouted, giving a nice yank on his hair. "We're sick and tired of hearing you go on about doing it with Astrid, and we all know you're not getting your way, so you might as well give up! She's under enough stress already - you _had_ to make it all worse?"

"I'm not making anything worse," he spat. "I'm trying to show her the reality of all this."

"Yeah, and the reality is: you're a self-centered, heartless, immature jerk who lusts after what Astrid's _got_ rather than loves her for who she _is_; and if you marry her, you'll only use her up until she's dry and then spit her out when you're done, cuz that's the best you can do!" Ruffnut finally exploded, screaming the words at the top of her lungs. "That's _all_ you're capable of doing! I'm pretty sure that you've got absolutely no ability to truly love someone whatsoever! Astrid _doesn't deserve you,_ so LEAVE HER ALONE!"

"How about _you_ stop interfering, Sigsteinn, and leave this up to me," Tuffnut hollered, insulting her by using their mother's unmarried last name. "This is _my_ issue, NOT yours, so get your face out of it!"

"Why don't YOU get YOUR face out of my room?" Ruffnut screamed, finally shoving him out the door with success, and after clearing the doorway, Tuffnut finally stomped off into the kitchen, cursing under his breath.

Ruffnut took a few moments to calm and compose herself, took a deep breath and folded her arms across her chest, then turned back around to face Astrid, who was still sitting on her bed. Her face fell and her mood quickly changed when she saw that it looked like Astrid was wiping her eyes. She hurried over to the bed and sat down next to her.

"Hey... are you okay?" she uneasily wondered. The last time she remembered seeing Astrid cry was the night they took Hiccup's leg. Normally she didn't cry about silly little things, or even things that seemed to bother her, so it surprised Ruffnut that she was reacting this way.

Astrid was silent and wiped her eyes furiously.

"I'm sorry we fought like that," Ruffnut quietly said. "I didn't mean to make you even more uncomfortable, but I had to deal with him somehow." She paused and let Astrid gather herself. "But really, what's wrong?" Astrid simply got off of the bed, wiped her eyes again, and shook her head.

"Ruff, I'm really sorry," she choked. "But I... I need to go home." She made a dash for the door, and Ruffnut stood to her feet and followed her halfway out of the house.

"Astrid, we can talk this over," she pleaded, but Astrid didn't listen and pushed the front door open, then raced off towards her house. "Hey! It's all right! You can talk to me about it!"

Astrid was far out of earshot by then, and Ruffnut sighed in defeat as she turned toward the kitchen. Skade and Tuffnut had been watching the scene in silence.

"Goodness, Ruffnut, what happened to your hair?" Skade wondered, but Ruffnut didn't answer her. "It's all right - I'll finish it for you later. Why don't you come sit down and have something to eat? You're probably famished from all the yelling."

"I'm not really that hungry, Mom," she mumbled, trudging into her room again. She made sure to glare at Tuffnut once more before she disappeared. "I lost my appetite a good long while ago."


End file.
